Life As A Cracker – 10 Things to be Thankful For

As a cracker there isn’t much you can really be thankful for. You cant really be proud of yourself without also constantly defending your actions and words, and no matter what happens you still come off as an asshole. So I was thinking about some things that we should be thankful for. Not because its right but because it just so happens to work out in our favor and fuck… we might as well take advantage of it while we still can.

1. Crackers can usually get away with murdering white bitches.
2. Crackers don’t get pulled over for going 5 over the speed limit in rich cracker suburbs. (Unless they are driving a ‘92 Buick)
3. The media is geared toward making Crackers feel good about themselves.
4. Crackers have an excuse for not dancing.
5. If a cracker goes missing you can guarantee that they will be found soon, if they are found dead some Mexican will probably be blamed.
6. Crackers can run for public office without people giving a shit. If a well qualified black man runs for president crackers all over the world start asking stupid ass questions.
7. Predominantly cracker public schools actually have money.
8. Crackers can buy houses…anywhere.
9. Crackers don’t have to worry about Cracker Rights
10. If there was ever a disease that only killed Crackers, you can guaranfuckingte that there will be a cure and a vaccine within 48 hours.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

because he was stapled to a dead baby being flung from a moving car