Criteria For Adopting Children- Trial by Fire (part 2)

If you were able to successfully go through the initial stage of Trial by Fire then you may now have the orphan of your dreams however if you discovered that more orphans survived then you initially expected then the following will help you further weed those out.

Well first thing is first. If you have more then one orphan to deal with check their vitals. If they exhibited any of the following then you can proceed to tell them “Sorry no one really loves you…go away now” :

• Are they crying? No one likes a kid who cant handle a little pain. Tears are for losers and the orphans should know better.
• Do they have that dazed and confused look in their eyes? If so then you know that they will probably suffer from some sort of post traumatic stress disorder and you don’t need to deal with that.
• Do they seem overly clingy? You will eventually need some space. Tell these kids to move on because mommy and daddy don’t like a kid who is too dependent. ..
• Are they injured? Remember you cant afford to take care of a kid who gets himself/herself injured all the time.
• Are they speaking too much? Talking orphans can be annoying.
• Are they mute? Mute orphans can be irritating.
• Do they have any obvious disability? Who wants an orphan that need help going to the bathroom?

If after going through these items and you still have more then one orphan to call your own then by all means flip a coin. And remember to tell the winner that “mommy and daddy love you very much.”

I notice a conspicuous absence of “dog rape” in this discussion.